As Christian men, we (I) need to remember that our response to life never affects us alone. Our choices affect others. And the refusal to take action is also an action. For most men, our proper vocation is to help a woman fulfill her vocation: family and motherhood. If we choose not to do this, it's not that everything goes on as before. The concrete result will be a real woman in the real world not receiving what God wants for her.
The following are excerpts from the article "Finding a Husband: Mission Impossible?" by Anthony Buono. The picture Mr. Buono paints cuts painfully close to home with me:
"...Specifically, we are talking about the casualties of the war on marriage and family life. It is my opinion that marriages that should be taking place are not. It's as simple as that. There are unending reasons why they are not happening (both good and bad reasons) but I believe most of those reasons are avoidable if people would make better free-will decisions ...
Men are casualties just as much as women are, unfortunately. But because men are the ones, in the end, that have to ask women on dates, and ask a woman for her hand in marriage, they can't allow excuses to "excuse" them. They have to find a way to answer their questions and solve their issues and problems, or we will continue to see marriages suffer, and marriages not happen. The dating process and marriage itself are acts of "free will". There must be more action, decision-making, choosing, and most of all, acceptance and living with decision. The abuse of free will is the sad condition of fallen human nature. That's what makes us all sinners, and why all people who marry must understand they are marrying a sinner, not a saint. But free will can never be about holding off making decisions until we know we are going to make the right decision. Knowing the outcome of an action is not a requirement to taking action. Prudence must be part of decision-making, but prudence is about taking action with right judgment, not about putting off decisions.
Marriage is definitely a decision that must be made without foreknowledge of the outcome. In other words, it is a risk. No one alive can ever know for certain that the person they marry will keep their vows or never change on them. Is that a scary reality? Yes. Is it a good reason to break up with someone or call off an engagement, or worse, end a marriage? No. An act of our free will has consequences, and life is about uncertainty. We take action in our life. That's a must. We learn from our mistakes. But we can never break our word, or run from our duties and responsibilities. This is what I believe is happening with many marriages as well as with single people. It doesn't feel right, or there is uncertainty, and these are interpreted as definite signs that no action should be taken, or that a bad decision could be made....
Men, as you have described from the experiences that have you so frustrated and concerned, seem to me to be in a crisis. Whether they know it or not, are guilty or victims, or are doing anything about it or not, they seem to be going through something that is affecting their vocation, which is affecting the vocation of others (namely, women)."
Posted by Gibbons J. Cooney
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