Ok, class... today's lesson will be on mathematics. No moans and groans from the audience, please. This is an exciting, "new" math. We'll call it Obama's Fuzzy Math or OFM.
OFM is quite fascinating. In most math problems if you subtract from a number, the result is a smaller number. But not with OFM. Using Obama's system, as more people lose their jobs -- hundreds of thousands every month -- the number of jobs created or saved (whatever that means) has actually gone up. It's the new subtraction. But, of course, it doesn't add up.